I hope Tuesday finds you well.
It was another Bank Holiday here in the UK yesterday, so I decided to take the day off, so this is the first Tuesday Issue for a while!
Last week I got quite a few emails, telling me that although I was joking, I was naughty to make comments about my wife, calling her 'sick bag ugly'.
I can't deny it, it was naughty, but in fact, it lends itself to the point I want to make today, which is about trying to make an impression.
In fact, Holly was actually a good looker.
I want to put her picture up for you to see, but as an invasion of her privacy that really *would* be naughty, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
Also, I havn't had contact with her for 10 years, so she may have gone downhill...
So way back then, she was one of the most warm and sensitive people I had met, and had a smile that was infectious.
Unfortunately she neglected to tell her face, so her default expression did not reflect this.
Quite the opposite in fact.
Her default face looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Is that the right expression?
Or is it a face like a bulldog's arse?
Or a face like a bulldog's face that's been stung by a wasp?
How about a face like a bulldog's arse that's just been stung by a wasp and then slapped?
You get the idea...
People used to say to me 'what's the matter with her?'
(and that was just the vicar)
Sorry, another joke, I couldn't resist.
Seriously, people used to ask me what she was upset about, when in fact she was quite happily minding her own business, not upset about anything.
I did (carefully) broach the subject with her, and she said she didn't realise she was doing it, and couldn't walk around with a fixed grin on her face just to please others.
In fact, she *could*, but it would have been silly.
Yes, it may have created a better first impression, but you can't permanently put on a fake front.
I remember another expression, which goes something like 'be who you are, be true to yourself, because those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter.'
On the same subject of making an impression, I was at a gig the other week, and my friend Liz introduced me to a girl there.
Incidentally, Liz has a site she put together using SiteBuildIt, and she loves the whole package, so if you fancy a peek, her site is at:
She is also the sponsor of metres 2 & 3 of my marathon, link below.
So, Liz introduced me, and told me to tell the girl my story of the dating site which had stung me for an extra month's subscription, as this girl was also on the site.
I told her the story, and when we compared what we were looking for, we were both surprised that we hadn't been in contact via the site.
Anyhoo, at the end of the evening, she asked me to go out.
I just about managed to stay on my feet long enough to say 'ok'.
A few days later, and the date was arranged.
When I go on these partially-sited dates, a friend always says that I should just be myself, before saying 'on second thoughts, try and make a good impression.'
Very droll I'm sure, but it's something I was pondering.
I couldn't decide whether to wear my all-purpose jacket which has seen better days, or my smarter jacket.
I had plumped for my all-purpose jacket, intending to leave it in the car, but at the last minute decided on the smarter one, to make a better inpression.
If it was a movie, as I closed the door, the camera would now close in on my mobile phone, nestling quite happily in the pocket of the jacket I had originally chosen....
I got to the pub as arranged, but she didn't appear.
By that time I had realised I didn't have my phone with me, and was shaking my head at the 'sod's law' situation I was now in.
After a 50 minute wait, I went home, and found a message telling me that she was waiting about 15 miles in the opposite direction.
I explained what had happened, but she was unable to see the funny side, and I've not heard from her since.
It seems the time between me meeting someone and getting dumped is getting shorter.
It's almost at the point where I'm scared to go out, in case a complete stranger comes up to me, delivers a huge slap and yells 'you're dumped', before running off.
So, what's better, to be yourself, or to make a good impression?
The answer is...
being yourself and making a good impression should be the same thing anyway!
Ok, have a good week.
'Til Next Time,
Health and Happiness,
Get involved with my Marathon Milllion at: